Born Again
BBC1 screened a documentary called ‘Born Again’ the other week which I found pretty interesting but also a bit cringe-worthy. Northern Irish novelist, Glenn Patterson, (who I’m told writes some great novels) explores the concept of being ‘Born Again’ and it’s importance to evangelical Protestants in Northern Ireland. It was kind of depressing that in the end Glenn was still turned off by what evangelical Protestantism in this country is offering because he felt it spoke more about death rather than life.

What I wish I could have said to Glenn was that if he was to grasp more of what all the ‘born again’ stuff is about, then he’d have to encounter God himself and the amazing person of Jesus Christ, and be open to the Spirit of God. Like Aslan in the Chronicles of Narnia, God is not tame and can’t be limited to the boxes our church put him into. Jesus draws us to himself because he is a person as well as God.

It’s kind of weird but in the last year or so I’ve become really uncomfortable in Christian/church settings. It just all seems a bit twee and out of touch somehow. When I say out of touch I’m not necessarily focussing on the whole ‘let’s get church into the 21st century’ kind of thing or let’s make sure we’re ‘modern’ and have Powerpoint and all that. It’s more that I wish churches & Christians (myself included) could be more real and effective about communicating what our faith means to us in a real way minus the secret ‘you-have-to-be-in-the-know’ jargon. And I’m uncomfortable with the whole trend of cultivating ‘Christian celebrity’. There seems to be this idea that in Christian circles – especially in Northern Ireland – it’s all about who you know or you have to be ‘someone’ before people embrace you. You have to have a certain passion or calling for something before you are accepted and then you can be put onto a pedestal and lauded as being a man or woman of God. Aren’t we all children of God? Aren’t we all equal?

I’m not very good at expressing these thoughts so maybe this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. I’ve got to work through this stuff & try & figure out what I’m thinking. I don’t mean this to be a major attack on the church, or even a rant, I just want to try and understand better where I’m at, and where this train of thought is taking me. Maybe part of it is that I’ve become a bit bitter because I’m in a place where I’m kind of isolated with being in the middle of moving and I’m not completely settled anywhere in particular. Maybe things will change once I move to Belfast (which incidentally is happening DV next month if everything goes smoothly, watch this space). I guess the bottom line is that I’m just uncomfortable with being surrounded by Christians and I have no desire to go to the latest gathering or Christian event these days.

Things of course could change over the next few months. The move to Belfast will definitely be an interesting time as I seek to find some kind of spiritual home. In many ways I’m looking forward to it – I want to get to know people and make friends, I want to get involved in a community and the life of a church. Over the last year or so I’ve just been a pew-warmer – it was just a season when after my burnout I needed to take a back seat and receive – but I think I’m ready for something new and fresh, so watch this space!