Free!
My time with John & Abbey was a special one, not just in terms of being able to catch up properly with them, see how they’re doing etc. But the last time I visited them was in Jan ’05 when I was in the midst of recovering from burnout, and even though I’d been off work about 3 months by that stage I was still a very fragile person. But two and a half years on I’m such a different person which they could see in me, they could sense the liberation and peace in me, and that was hugely affirming. And it’s true – I’ve moved on so much. I do feel like I’ve become more of who I am. I feel a peace, I feel like there’s no rush, I don’t feel I have to prove anything anymore, I don’t have to strive, I don’t have to compete, I don’t have to try to be ‘somebody’, I don’t want to be the bionic woman anymore…I just want to enjoy life and if I can bring glory to God, that’s so great. At times I do kind of wonder if I should be doing ‘more’ for God, that maybe I’m just cruising too much or something. But John reminded me that actually I’m in the centre of God’s will right now, I don’t have to try and get somewhere. And there have even been times when I’ve worried that I’m not thinking big deep meaningful thoughts, but I think that has come from a contentment to just ‘be’. I feel a huge sense of gratitude for what God has done in my life and how he’s brought me through thus far on the journey. And it’s not that I’m sussed or sorted or problem-free or anything like that…there’s just a sense of peace and that’s great!