Hard pressed
Hard pressed on every side…but not crushed
Perplexed…but not in despair
Persecuted…but not abandoned
Struck down…but not destroyed
(1 Corinthians 4:8-9)

A week on after our 24 hours of prayer…well it’s been tough – unbelievably, but I shouldn’t be surprised really. Everything I’ve put my hand to this week has gone wrong – things have been breaking left, right and centre, I’ve been coming up against brick walls time and again, I’ve been getting flak from all directions, there are threats everywhere I turn, I’m under pressure by to-do lists and deadlines. I'm sick of problem-solving. I’ve been feeling like I’m about to be overwhelmed and can’t go on. My gameplan? All I can do is cling to God for all I’m fit and take it one day at a time, and try to do my best with integrity. No doubt I’ll keep collapsing in a heap, but then I’ll gain some strength from God to continue, pick myself up and go on a wee bit further.

I think I’m a bit wiser now – when you get involved in Kingdom work, it’s not a game, it’s a serious business, it’s a spiritual battle, it’s major, it’s tough…and I knew all that already, it’s just come home to me stronger this week. I definitely have a lot to learn especially about God’s armour, how we need to wear it and use it. And another thing that I’ve learnt over again is that God answers prayer! Gee, I catch on quick like don’t I?! Since last summer I’ve been praying – “Whatever it takes God, let your Kingdom come.” And last weekend I remember praying at one point, “What’s next?” I kept thinking of Bono’s line – “I’m ready, ready for the laughing gas, I’m ready, ready for what’s next”. And this is what’s next – God’s doing stuff, but you don't half pay the price.

But to be honest, that’s ok, because I don’t want to live anything other than this amazing rollercoaster ride. I don’t want mediocrity. There is more…and I want more! I love being where God is at work. I don’t want to do what everyone else is doing just for the sake of it. I just want to do the stuff that makes a difference and is meaningful. Jesus has given his all for me, I’ll give my all for him. So I’ll pray again, let the Kingdom come!

Sometimes I wonder if we can quantify what God has done during the last 3 and a half years that I’ve been in Dungannon. I mean, I’ve only known one young person to come to faith in that time. And it’s not about numbers, it’s not that I doubt God having been at work – He definitely has. But I guess sometimes you just question the level of impact that we’ve had. I guess one response is – well we just don’t know what’s going on in the heavenlies, but the more we serve God and live for him and worship him in spirit and in truth, then the more there is room for his Kingdom to come and for the tide of evil to be pushed back. I guess the other response is what a close friend was saying to me the other day – maybe it’s more about what God is doing in us. I think Pete had a discussion about that on his blog a while back – how God is more interested in what He can do in us than through us which has always been a source of real encouragement to me.

Actually a friend just sent me today’s Word-on-the-Web notes – highly appropriate. One bit said this:
“God is testing your faith because he loves you and wants you to grow. The
others who seem to have an easy life only do so because God is not
stretching them. It is as if God is not bothered with them, but God is
concerned with you. This sounds very much like tough love - but would you
rather be overlooked by God and have it easy or ....?”

If that’s the case, then this life we live, this difficult and painful life, this abundant and joyous life, is a tremendous privilege because of what we’re experiencing of God. Bring it on!