Parenthood!
Spent the past weekend away with a group of 7 girls from one of our drop-in groups (all aged 12-14) and it made me think a lot about parenting! On the Friday night they stayed up the whole night. Then Saturday morning they spent 2 hours canoeing & banana-boating – excellent crack. By lunchtime they were like totally zonked – communication was somewhat stunted! The weather was gorgeous so we headed off to the beach – it was really idyllic. I mean, if I’d been their age I would have been in my element (I think anyway!). But it was hilarious – only 2 of the girls actually did anything – ie. body-surfing in the sea & rounders on the beach – the rest just lay around or sat in the cars and slept! It was crazy! I always find that really frustrating (& here’s where I sound really old!) – like at Summer Madness some of the young people stayed up all night every night then were so wrecked during the day that they didn’t get involved in the activities – they were missing out on so much! It’s their choice, but still.

So anyway I was talking to one of the other leaders this weekend and we were saying that it seems like the kids don’t know a good thing when they’ve got it. I wonder is it a generational thing? Is it just because I’m older that I’m more appreciative of all I have and can do. And I also wonder if it’s something to do with the way parents bring up their kids – do they give them too much? And is that because maybe they were brought up with not so much, as generally these days parents are able to give their kids far more (although I know that’s a sweeping generalisation). Do you get my gist though? My friend also made the point that maybe the kids are stubborn to an extent and they have to find out themselves which is true too.

So then I started to think about parenthood (tho’ I’m NOT getting broody here!!!) – what can we do if we’re parents to instil values in our kids so that they grow up making the most of all that comes their way? I’m thinking now that parents need to set their boundaries – just as a couple going out need to have their boundaries set about how far is too far etc. I’ve seen it with other parents – they get so worn down by their kids constantly demanding attention or the constant need to be on top of things & to make the right decisions for their kids’ development, that they end up giving in sometimes. And it’s even just in the simple things e.g. getting the kids to bed at a decent hour in stead of letting them stay up late because you can’t be bothered to deal with the aggro over washing, getting ready for bed etc. I’ve suddenly realised that there’s got to be an accountability between husband & wife as parents about what the boundaries are for their kids – that way their kids can’t play off them. If I get married someday and me & my hubby decide to have kids there’s going to have to be a whole range of decisions & discussions!

Anyway who the heck am I to say all this?! I haven’t got a clue about parenting – the very idea scares the wits out of me and I’ve never been the broody type! A lot of the time I’m tempted to think that as a youthworker I know far more than the parents about how to work with and relate to young people. I see their problems and issues and think I know how to handle it all and what the solutions are. But at the end of the day, no matter how much I know the kids, it’s their parents who know them the best. Even with the Christian kids I think I know how to develop their faith better – but surely the parents deserve the credit for a heck of a lot of their kids’ spiritual development.

Well lots of thoughts and ramblings. All feedback v welcome!

Oh other piece of news:
Got Paddy the Peugeot back last Friday! Yee-hah! Steering is a bit stiff though...anyway!